out of africa

by tomorrow morning, i'll be on a plane (sans musical relief as ipod chose to conk out again - that's two transatlantic flights in a row) heading west. i'm no clearer about what lies ahead than i was a month ago. luckily, the past couple of weeks have been so crazed that if, in fact, i'm not returning (or heading to a different part of africa), i haven't had much time to notice or get weepy.

it rained today and it seemed to signify a good omen of what lies ahead. i was getting my car washed out in kangemi - an outer borough of nairobi - and it started pouring (ironic, no?). everyone was so excited and rushed headlong into the downpour, clapping and dancing with joy. strangely beautiful. the trees and grass turned a brilliant shade of green and flowers bloomed, radiating colors all around. seems as if there's hope for a rainy season ahead.

in a half hour, i'm off to stop by my local bar where they're hosting a small farewell gathering for me (free beer and snacks) before the last supper with some friends one of my favorite restaurants before dropping car off at boss's house/nightcap. then home to pack up all of my shit (pray that it fits into my suitcase) and watch the boy clean up my apartment.

i'm truly at a loss for something clever to say but it seems like such a significant turn of events requires a blog post, so here are a few random thoughts:

1. if i never see (or smell) another camel/donkey/cow/goat carcass, i won't be sad.

2. excited to see functioning traffic lights and street lamps.

3. think my lungs are actually going to miss crappy kenyan tobacco. might have to start smoking lucky strike unfiltered to avoid withdrawal.

4. unlimited hot water + non-stop electricity = pure luxury.

5. i'd rather be here than anywhere else.

see you stateside, folks.

life lessons (that you don't want to have) learned

1. no matter how many exotic animals are roaming around in their backyards, kenyans love themselves some animal planet. we just got dstv installed in our office last week (meaning we can watch bbc and sky news now) and despite the fact that i've been away most of the week, when i returned the muted box was still engaged on that damn station and my colleagues beleaguered me with tales of all the interesting animal television they'd watched that week. wtf?

2. camel milk yoghurt? not so tasty.

3. once your car begins to smell like an elephant's armpit, there's not much that can be done about it.

4. sometimes, age is just a number. and sometimes, it's not.

exhibit a: when asked if he needed anything from the states, boy responded: mad magazines, pez dispensers and an x-box? my response: i was thinking more along the lines of prescription medicine you'd run out of, bug spray or contact lens solution not your christmas wish list.

exhibit b: regarding cottages and flats for possible cohabitation purposes should i return, his major requirement is extra two bedrooms (!) to house former FRAT BROTHERS coming for a MONTH-LONG visit in june.

exhibit c: hates flying, therefore long and smelly road trip to coast, but upon arrival wants to go HANG-GLIDING.

(disclaimer: despite vacation being very illuminating about dark recesses of said boy's personality, can't help but truly like the kid - even if does have checkered past as fraternity member, prizes access to video games above clean bill of health and decent eyesight and has questionable fear of easy transport.)

5. even when you thought you'd seen your last festering camel carcass on the side of the road in some drought-ravaged bush in northern kenya, you haven't. next issue of drought-related death and destruction due Monday.

gotta run. animal planet's showing some amazing footage of three lions totally demolishing a herd of zebra.

road trip

greetings from malindi. it only took fifteen hours to drive here. but was quite an experience - on the (what passes for) road for a substantial distance through oppressive, tropical, equatorial heat (am i getting through to you about how much i'm sweating right now?). have no plans to get back into the car until the air freshener kicks in.

here on work/holiday with the boy. a couple of germans opened a camel dairy, so i figured i'd check it out. can't wait to taste camel milk yoghurt and ice cream. there's also rumors of a cow that drinks only beer. i'm working my sources and looking for a guide to take me out to his pasture. i'm sure fodder goes down well with all that tusker.

so, today we're off to see some swahili ruins - gede - before snorkeling our way through the country's most vast marine park. tomorrow morning - camels galore - and then on to africa's largest coastal forest before heading back down to mombasa where we'll spend the night before embarking for nairobi on friday.

all this basically means that you'll be even more jealous of my tan than you would have otherwise when i touch down in new york next wednesday - temporarily? for keeps? up in the air - freezing my ass off in my birkenstocks and turtleneck sweater. but at least i'll have a scarf!

i'll be spending the first two weeks and a half weeks of march in ny, illinois and d.c., driving my soccer-mom mobile through miles of overdevelopment, fast food franchises and ignorance. so please let me know if you'll be around, where you'll be and if you have room on your couch and a hot shower (that'll be the real luxury) for me.

politically incorrect

i'm sure we're all aware of my inability to communicate articulately about politics. but this one deserves some incomprehensible mumblings.

i, like many of you, have been quite amusing by this whole dick cheney hunting fiasco. and unlike dear scott mclellan, it's only getting more amusing now that the veep's hunting partner stands to kick the buckshot.

the nyt (our favorite source of credible reporting) writes today that if whittington dies, our dear old dick will be subject to a grand jury probe.

so, let me get this straight. the man is going to be criminally investigated for his role in accidentally shooting his pal (poor visibility in that foggy texas brush, eh?) but not for issuing orders to scooter to leak plame's name or illegally wiretapping or condoning torture or stuffing the profits of this oil-fueled war into his bursting pockets? i could go on, but i'm sure there's no need. we all get the point.

and while i'm waxing poetic, let me just add that while i'm not condoning this completely inane cartoon violence, i LOVED the photo of the pakistanis taking down ronald mcdonald. that's an anti-western protest i can get behind.

i think this post just added me to the administration hit list. i'm staying here.

islam-o-mania

let's start with friday's cartoon chaos. went to a prayer meeting sponsored by kenya's leading muslim organization where demonstrators bore placards with slogans like "we are ready for jihad" and "stop these islamophobias" and "death to denmark" and, my personal favorite, "freedom of expression is western terrorism" as local imams ordered a boycott of danish products, travel to denmark and "anything that looks danish."

amusing enough until the demo took to the streets and a few german reporters showed up on the scene where they were roughed up, spat upon and rushed into a getaway car whose windshield was swiftly shattered with large cement blocks because apparently they were "anything that looks danish." when the march finally wound up in front of the city's largest mosque, where danish and american flags were burned, participants kept on approaching my photographer telling him to get me out of there because it wasn't safe and i would be attacked. we exited gracefully -- aka running out of there -- as a group of youth started collecting rocks and pointing at me.

then back to the streets to follow a group who splintered off to march on the embassy. the riot police swiftly moved in, firing shots and teargas cannisters at a group of 300 angry folks. but they dispersed pretty quickly and the rally ended as peacefully as it began - no embassies burned because they never made it that far and only the two germans hurt. its great to be in a place where political expression doesn't turn into an excuse for bloodletting. as kenyans will tell you, they're very peaceful.

the best part of this thing? the danish embassy refused to close - even though they were the target of the protest - but the american embassy shuttered its doors. self-absorbed assholes, aren't we?

so good news! meeting with bureau chief on wednesday and think that i'm going to be able to work this out. aka - stipend and subsidized rent and per story billing! and there are another couple of possibilities that might be available: addis ababa! kigali (i'd love to go to rwanda and i'd actually learn french - even better: if you're posted in kigali, you're also the pointperson for eastern congo)! regardless, i'll be able to swing enough dough to stay in nairobi until something opens up that i'd actually like to consider. if, of course, all goes well on wednesday. but boss doesn't see any reason why it shouldn't and really doesn't want me to leave.

heading up to wajir on monday with american ambassador and british high commissioner to tour the drought-ravaged northeast. barren desert, smelly rotting animal carcasses all over the place and malnourished children a la ethiopian fame 1984 - sally strothers - feed the children. terribly depressing. but kind of exciting - i get to bring the SAT phone!

and kudos to two folks dear to my heart - miss molly brown who starts a kickass job at fantastic music mag on monday and my lil sis, lulu, who is moving to chicago after getting into her top choice grad school - u of c - to study egyptian heiroglyphs.

buttery nipples all around.

mellow yellow

it's weeks like this that make me remember that i'm not a burnt-out stringer for an under-staffed office in one of the most underreported regions of the world.

have been chasing down people who drink their own urine three times a day and rub it all over their body to cure all sorts of medical maladies, a freaky catholic splinter group that actually conducts mass in latin (gotta love the nearly extinct moments when my undergrad major comes in handy), street boys turned ballerinas doing a dance about flamingo migration, attending a Kenyan version of LiveAid to benefit victims of this severe drought we got going on here, and attending muslim rallies protesting the danish cartoons that leaders here promise will turn violent on friday (good idea to save it up for the most holy day of the week, no?).

i've got to admit, weeks like these that make me want to postpone my return to the states. too bad they happen too regularly for me to sit back and actually enjoy the sheer surreal quality of it all.

also, another confession, i have actually been watching sports. the african cup. can't help but pull for the real africans in this match - cote d'ivoire. don't even know how egypt managed to finagle its way into this tournament, considering its sheer refusal to actually identify as an african country or people.

so there's bird flu in nigeria. confirmed. even better? story about how birds who died from an unknown disease (could be AF or cholera) are being sold at a discount rate in the market. this continent is so totally f*d if it gets hit with another epidemic. i mean, HIV/AIDS, malaria, and tuberculosis aren't enough?

a couple more words.

am pissed pissed pissed.

wrote this whole post soliciting career advice the other day and it's disappeared into the internet stratosphere. it was apparently published long enough for a couple of folks to read it and respond with gems of wisdom - so thanks to those who did - but here's the condensed version:

do i move to eritrea in june or do i pick up and string in madagascar? or do i stay in nairobi and wait for a fulltime staff position to open up somewhere? or do i surrender and head home?

eritrea: impending war. i'd be one of two correspondents in entire country. enough news to support myself on a $30/story contract. great art deco architecture, espresso and pasta held over from italian colonial occupation. but... only four ways to get into the country - none of them direct - and it's penultimate on the reporters without borders press freedom list, second only to north korea. and, oh yeah, that whole impending war thing.

madagascar: living on remote tropical island paradise in indian ocean. probably not a lot of news going on there as we've survived without a correspondent for many many years but think of all the features i could write? but... there's an incurable mosquito-borne disease sweeping indian ocean islands which cripples those it effects and it's a remote tropical island.

staying in nairobi and stringing is pretty self-explanatory. but again, it's $30/story with the frogs and i need to be assured of a steady income. currently colluding with media rivals for possible employment opportunities at american and british wire. will keep you posted on details.

retreating to live with my folks, facing looming debt and whoring myself out for a job at a publication i could actually work for after this adventure - well, that speaks for itself, eh?

one word

pinkeye.